Christmas is over but check this out

Ok so I was flipping through a Brookstone magazine when I came across this little number...
They call it the iGallop
Seriously, there is no way that this thing is going to work, so don't waste your money, this is almost as bad as the Gazelle that the wack job promoted on TV, you know the guy that just screams and thinks its effective marketing? Ya him!

This is the most pathetic concept for a machine let alone a piece of workout equipment, it looks like mechanical sex. And it costs around $200, if you want firm abs why don't you just ride me?

Two random acts

So I had to run into work real quick to grab something and I saw the two oddest things. Right next to work there was this old man shoveling a pile of snow. Now just so everyone is clear, it snowed last week and this pile of snow was, by now probably frozen solid and gathered around a street sign at the base of the pole. It was quite evident it was not interfering with travel or daily life, except to this poor old man. I was just walking in the building when this all started to take place. Now...fast forward to me exiting the building. This old man had taken about half the snow from the pile and thrown it all over the sidewalk only to throw salt on it. Now I'm no genius but first of all what was the point of taking it out of the pile of snow if it wasn't bothering anyone to begin with and secondly its freezing or below outside, so even with the salt there, that sidewalk will turn into a nice little skating rink once the salt takes effect and turns it into liquid. That was number one, call me crazy but I found it interesting.

The second event took place at the bank, I had just pulled up to deposit a few checks and bam...this woman standing in the cold sneezed. Now I know this doesn't at all sound exciting but I mean this was a huge sneeze drawn out to like a 6 second count. Achoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. You get the picture. No real reason for it, so I figure she's just passing by and may have a cold, that could be a fair assumption. I do my business in the bank to come out and find her in the same position standing there with a cigarette in one hand, a scarf being hold over her face and 3 bags on the ground, by this time it was pretty clear that she was homeless and had taken this small piece of earth as her own little squatting ground. She almost reminded me of a pigeon, refusing to move for anyone. So that's pretty much it....maybe you just had to be there but I found them both odd and funny at the same time. This of course all happened within 10 mins of each other. Gotta love it.

Another gift idea

Had anyone seen the Mag-Lite flashlight commercial? It's quite obvious the folks at Mag-Lite haven't spent a dime on advertising since the late 80's early 90's. Watch it and I guarantee you too will agree.

AeroGarden Commercial

I'm watching TV and a commericial comes on for the AeroGarden, "The garden that grows in your kitchen." I have to admit, cool concept but seriously if you're the CEO would you really let this testimonial go into production...


"It's something you can buy for someone who has everything, because they don't have this."

IF they have everything....then why don't they have it already.

AeroGarden....I think you can do better.

Merry Christmas Dad

Dad Sells 'Guitar Hero III' on eBay After Catching Son Smoking Pot


After catching his teenage son smoking pot, a father sold his son's coveted "Guitar Hero III" video game on eBay as punishment, and made over $9,000, PC World reported. The father, a Canadian school teacher, spent two weeks searching for the rare video for the Nintendo Wii gaming system before buying it for his son. But later, after coming home from work early, he caught his son smoking reefer in the backyard with his "delinquent friends.".In the eBay listing page, the man said he put the video game up for sale to punish his son and discourage him from smoking dope."I know smoking a joint isn't the end of the world, but if you can convince me that he deserves the gift, then I will end the auction," it was reported. The father sold the game to an Australian buyer for $9,100.01.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,317014,00.html

IF Santa Answered His Mail Honestly.....

I got this as an email. Enjoy!


Deer Santa,I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Friend, Billy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawncare. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell.
Santa

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Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa

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Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me send you some Legos instead.
Santa

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Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love, Francis

Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays. I bet you're gay. I'll set you up with a Barbie.
Santa

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Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love, Susan

Dear Susan, Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of Scotch.
Santa

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Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China . I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa

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Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?
Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa

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Dear Santa, I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE could I have one?
Love, Timmy

Dear Timmy, That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
Santa

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Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home?
Love, Marky

Dear Mark, First stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.
Sweet dreams,
Santa*

Bagel Day

It's a known fact...every second Tuesday of every month is bagel day here at the company. So today I wake up all excited for my warm, fresh bagel, so of course I didn't eat anything on my way out the door and what happens. Oh yeah! No bagel day....talk about a let down. Let's hope lunch turns out better.

So it snowed

For once the weather peoples got the weather right. We got just about 3 inches over night and it was getting a little nasty out there towards midnight. This morning, however, I came to the realization that no more will school cancellations effect me in any way, as a matter of fact since I'll be traveling so much it will probably have no effect on me what so ever. Although the airport is my only chance for canceled flights, but even then I'm sure I'd have to work from home.

I guess I'm a big kid now.